


The Love I Possess

by little_tinkerxx



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-22
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-03 06:53:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/695447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_tinkerxx/pseuds/little_tinkerxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vastra loves Jenny, Jenny loves Vastra. Neither know it yet. (Dedicated to my friend David who has helped me by reading through this and giving me words when I got stuck). Hope you all enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Vastra lay curled up on her side of the bed in as small of a ball as she could manage, she was freezing cold, and finding it unbearable to move. The pain that went through her as she tried to shuffle towards the edge of the bed to get closer to the fire place, not too far away from the bed. The fluffy rug that lay in front of it seemed so close. But as Vastra moved it became so far away.

She didn’t hear as the door creaked open and Jenny peaked around, her fight with Vastra earlier had really hurt. But knowing the Silurian was only snapping because she was cold, due to the British weather. The homo-reptilian was used to warmth and up here on the cold rainy cobbled streets of London; it was anything but what the green scaled woman was used too. Jenny crept closer to the bed trying to sense if her mistress was sleeping or just resting. As she reached the slide of the bed were on the occasion that Vastra was cold she would sleep on, she was starting to feel like a human heat dispenser for Vastra, but unknown to her ma’am she really didn’t mind. She cared dearly for Vastra, maybe too deeply for feelings she should develop for a woman, which is why she could never tell her. Jenny gently climbed onto the side of the bed, as Vastra felt the bed dip slightly behind her she let out between a growl and a hiss. Jenny being used to Vastra’s mood swings, still crawled closer gently curling her body and arm around her mistress’ shaking body. Feeling the instant heat Vastra automatically pushed herself into the warmth silently moaning her approval at the slight rise in temperature that was emitted from Jenny. Vastra always loved the feeling of Jenny’s body wrapped around hers on a bitter winter’s night; sometimes it was the only relief she got and at times like these she would cling to it with both hands.  
Vastra tried to turn to curl her body more securely into Jenny’s, but the moment she moved Jenny quickly pulled away, Vastra let of a hiss of disproval and tried to wrap herself more securely into Jenny. Jenny felt her mistress trying to pull her closer using the front of her nightgown she knew if she didn’t physically move back into the position she was in before Vastra might tear the gown off her just trying to pull her closer. Jenny slid slightly closer to Vastra and gathered her mistress into her arms. Vastra snuggled straight in, ‘Thank You’ she whispered, nuzzling Jenny’s neck. Jenny tensed but couldn’t help smiling down at the scaled woman curled into her side. Vastra fell into a rather unpleasant sleep clinging onto Jenny, the cold had seemed to seep into her dreams and torture her. Vastra kept dreaming about losing Jenny in the most horrific ways possible and no matter what she did to try and save her it didn’t work, the last image Vastra saw before she was shook awake was her lovely green scales covered with Jenny’s warm blood, seeping through her fingers onto the cold, hard ground below.

That was it, all night long Jenny had, had to listen to her mistress’ whimpers and cries of anguish. She knew she must have been dreaming about her sisters again, but this was too much for her to take. Every little pained sound that left her lips was breaking Jenny’s heart over and over again. ‘Wake up, Ma’am’ Jenny kept repeating shaking her shoulder gently. After about the tenth time of repeating this process Vastra jumped slightly and awoke with a jolt.  
She was so relieved to see Jenny, lying there alive she forgot the common protocol, and quickly moved forward and kissed her. Jenny shrieked with surprise and tried to push Vastra away from her. Vastra flinched when she heard Jenny’s squeak and felt her pushing her away. She pulled away and lowered her head, ‘I’m sorry’ Vastra scampered into the corner of the bedroom and curled herself into a ball. She never thought Silurian’s could cry, yet here she was curled in a corner in her own bedroom, with some form of water substance trailing down her face.


	2. Chapter 2

Jenny felt terrible, the one person who had looked after her, protected her, kept her and made her feel like she was the only person in the world that actually mattered, and now that person was cowering in the corner of her own room and sobbing. Jenny crept closer to Vastra, ‘I’m sorry’ Jenny whispered she reached out to gather Vastra into her arms, but the minute she touched Vastra’s arm slightly she heard a growl. She flinched but still tried to gather Vastra into her arms. ‘Get off, of me’ Vastra growled then hissed in Jenny’s direction. Jenny was unsure of what to do; she had never seen her this distressed. ‘I’ll…I’ll’ she moves closer to Vastra trying to gather her into her arms knowing that by now Vastra must be really cold. Vastra thinking that this was an attack, lashed out quickly hoping to make the first hit and protect herself. Jenny from the force of the attack was knocked backwards but due to Vastra’s tongue being wrapped around her wrist she didn’t move far. Jenny reached up with her free hand feeling tears building up in her eyes; she couldn’t believe Vastra had actually just slapped her. She put her hand to her check feeling a wet thick substance oozing out of her skin, she pulled her hand away to look down. It was covered in blood. 

By now Vastra had realized the attack she was expecting wasn’t going to happen and she slowly uncurled her tongue from Jenny’s wrist in as much shock as the young maid in front of her. Jenny now able to move scampered away from the pre-historic being before her backing herself into the bed still staring at the blood that covered her pale skin. More was pouring out of the open wound where an obvious claw mark went from not far below her eye to near the corner of her mouth. Jenny moved her hand back up to her check trying to stem the blood flow but unsure of how to. She looked down at her now free arm to see a large red wheel appearing on her wrist where the lizards tongue had once been wrapped.

Jenny could finally feel the tears flow down her checks, how childish had she been to believe this…this thing could love her like she loved it. She had made a mistake and she could feel her heart shattering beneath the layers of Victorian clothing and skin. Vastra just kept looking at Jenny in shock, she really thought the young Ape was about to attack her, but now looking at the poor terrified eyes made her feel sick but she didn’t understand why. Many years ago she would have enjoyed this look of pure terror covering her preys face. But Jenny was more than that to her wasn’t she; Jenny wasn’t prey she was just a child wishing to help someone, anyone who needed it. Her included even after everything she had done to the poor…human. 

‘Jenny…’she whispered from where she still cowered in the corner of her bedroom ‘Jenny, I’m so sorry…I didn’t mean…’ before she could finish getting her sentence out Jenny had already scampered to her feet, she had managed to recover enough from the shock to move, she ran out the room and Vastra heard the sharp slamming noise of the door across from her room, and with her increased hearing she also heard the metal latch click into place. Vastra felt herself curl even further into the place where she sat; she felt sick, guilty and worried. The ape was growing on her and she was unsure of why.


	3. Chapter 3

With her increased hearing Vastra could hear the small ape in the next room crying, at least that’s what she thought the quiet whimpering noises followed by sniffing meant. She felt ashamed of what she had done, she didn’t understand why she felt ashamed with any other ape she would have been proud of what she had managed to do. Vastra felt her body start to shake as the cold got through her guilt and shame and made her realize where she was. The historical reptile began to rise from her cramped position in the corner of her bedroom and moved towards the rug in front of the roaring fire that Jenny had made for her that evening. Just looking at the fire made Vastra feel worse, the young hatchling had done everything to try and make her as comfortable as possible in these winter months and what had she gone and done, she had forced herself upon the young maid and then abused her. Vastra let out a long guilt-ridden whine which echoed around the empty room contrasting with the crackling of the flames in the fireplace. 

(The Next Day)

Jenny awoke in her own bedroom; she hadn’t slept in here in months since her mistress had requested her company each night due to the warmth her body emitted. Jenny realized how uncomfortable this felt, turning slowly onto her other side she felt a stinging in her left cheek as her skin stretched slightly. That was when the previous night’s events came flooding back to her memory, she wasn’t sleeping there because her mistress had desired to be alone but because her prehistoric employer had struck her without so much as a reason why after kissing her. Jenny felt the tears begin to build again, she had honestly thought that the feelings she had for her mistress were reciprocated. Jenny listened carefully hoping to hear her employer’s footsteps downstairs to see what mood she was in, but there was no noise that Jenny could hear within the house at all. Jenny felt her whole body deflate, Had Vastra left her alone in the house? Had she just left without a second thought? Jenny slowly got up out of her bed dressing herself carefully making sure not to catch the partially closed wound on her cheek, she sat down at the rarely used dressing table and started tying her hair into her usual style for work, twisting the glistening brown locks up into a tight bun wincing as the hair being pulled back tugged at the wound. Jenny looked in the mirror at her appearance; the scratch looked terrifying she didn’t know entirely what to do. 

Jenny left her room after staring at her reflection for another ten minutes, she decided to have a look into her mistress’ bedroom before going downstairs to begin her work, Jenny slowly opened the bedroom door hoping not to find too much mess to find the subject of her affections still curled asleep on the rug in front of the now burned out fire. Jenny crept closer to the body of her employer to find her shaking; she instinctively called her name turning her onto her back. Vastra lay unresponsive, she had been so cold during the night her body had put her into hibernation. Jenny gently tugged her towards the bed, struggling to place her in the bed wrapping her in as many blankets as she could find. She lit the fire trying to make the room as warm as possible for the woman she loved and may lose. She knew now, after seeing her in such a condition her heart felt as though it was about to break into a million pieces. She loved her, with all of her being, all she had to do know was make sure she came round and warmed up.


	4. Chapter 4

Jenny continued to stoke the fire after adding heating stones into the bed with Vastra hoping that it would bring her round, she couldn’t help feeling guilty last night instead of turning her back on her reptile employer she should have stayed, made sure she stayed within the right temperature conditions, instead of running. Jenny looked around the room; there was nothing else she could do to help raise Vastra’s temperature so she turned the chair near the fire place towards the bed, sitting down to watch Vastra. It was several hours before Vastra woke up, turning groggily to face the fireplace where Jenny had fallen asleep watching her. 

Vastra hissed sadly to herself, she had harmed the girl the night before without meaning to. The child was always so kind and caring to her, never judging and in a moment of weakness she had lashed out. Vastra’s tongue scented the air while she guiltily watched Jenny sleep; she was still looking after her after everything that had happened the night before. How could she meet such a perfect ape? 

Jenny started to blink awake, stretching quietly she turned to face Vastra smiling sleepily when she noticed she was awake. 'Ma'am?' Jenny's groggy voice made Vastra smile until she remembered. 'Jenny' her voice coming out raspy 'Jenny I'm so so…' by this point Jenny had gotten up and was across the room before Vastra could finish her sentence 'Shhhh, it's okay ma'am' Jenny was gently stroking Vastra's face to calm her before she realized what she was doing and quickly withdrew her hand. Vastra was watching Jenny cautiously '…but Jenny I really am sorry. I didn't realize what I was doing; I just lashed out without thinking…I was cold. I'm so sorry.' Vastra lowered her head as much as she could while still lying down. Jenny could see the shame tainting her mistresses beautiful scales. 'Ma'am it's okay honestly, it's barely a scratch' as she spoke she couldn't help her hand slowly sliding up to rest over the scratch.

Vastra let her eyes look up at Jenny without moving her head much, the scratch on her maids face she knew would eventually close and she would be left without a scar, there would be a slight scratch mark for a few weeks, maybe just over a month but nothing long lasting. Even knowing this Vastra still hated herself for the events of the night before. She hissed sadly to herself letting her eyes lower once again unable to force herself to look at what she did any longer.

'Ma'am look at me…please' Jenny's small voice was enough to make Vastra look back up. 'Ma'am I know it looks hideous but it doesn't really hurt anymore. I know you were just cold and I forgive you.' The ape…no human's words made Vastra's heart skip a beat. Evan after everything she had done the young girl still didn't run or hate her. Vastra smiled slightly. Jenny seeing the smile beamed happily towards her mistress pulling slightly on the closed wound 'Maybe we should make a pact.' Jenny paused waiting for her mistresses attention just to see the lizard look up to her with a frown '…next time, you make sure you don't let yourself get too cold…' she paused again waiting for the nod of approval 'and I'll make sure your bedroom is as warm as possible.' Vastra hissed pleasantly to herself 'it's a deal my dear' Both of them smiled at the other, before Vastra became bashful 'Miss Jenny I was wondering' her eyes never met her maids 'I'm still slightly cold and tired…would you…I mean only if you would want to…' Vastra's voice became a lot quieter 'join me?'

Jenny couldn't help the grin that lit up her face, her eyes the brightest Vastra had ever seen them. Jenny's heart sped up 'Of course Ma'am…I'd love to' Jenny climbed into the warm bed next to her mistress curling close to her, she felt cold lips gently press a kiss to her forehead. She smiled even more, not willing to move or mention it in case Vastra hadn't noticed she was doing it in the first place.


End file.
